Everywhere I Go, There I Am

reflections on one year since the genesis of my substack journey.

self-portrait. Nikiti, Greece, 2024.

Everywhere I go, there I am.

Life will always bring you back to yourself. This time last year was a journey home, of sorts. I fell apart in more ways than one — lost, but then rediscovered myself.

Somewhere in the breaking, I felt a beckoning to come back to my words and the healing power that they hold. That’s where my Substack journey began, which came from a yearning to create a soft landing — a haven of safety and vulnerability. Marking a year since its genesis, I feel, calls for a reintroduction.

My name is Mariah Maddox. I am a storyteller, feeler, witnesser, ancestral healer, lineage weaver — those inform much of what I do. I am also a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend, and so many other things.

But most of all, I am me. An iteration of heaven — in human form. A woman yearning to be a witness of her own being. To take the backroads and fall in love with the long-drawn scenic routes of her own soul.

I am an entity of multitudes. An utterance of the prayers whispered by those whom I come from. I am a woman woven into the intricate details of life, love, and laughter. Of grief, ache, and sorrow. In it all, I am there.

Through the breaking, I found my way back to the root of myself.

ẹniafẹ isis

said it best. That broken does not necessarily equate to damaged. That perhaps, reimagined, it is an act of birthing. I am breaking into a version of myself that I have never been before. Bursting through the shell of my former self. Emerging.

The laboring pains, the contractions — they are all there as I make my way through the passageway of this womb. A wisdom I have leaned into is that the pain we collect through life can either be a memorial site or a birthing space. I am actively choosing to make mine the place of my nativity.

Here now, the dust is far from settled, but on this side, I am more tender with myself. More graceful. More forgiving. More knowing. And more sure. Sure that the work I have been called to is meaningful. Sure that my lineage depends on it, but also that I depend on it. Sure that I have an offering. Sure that heaven is touching earth through me.

This community has requited the safety and vulnerability that I pour into All My Language. It truly feels like a space to come with the heap of our humanness, unfold, and lean in. I extend my gratitude to those who have been on this journey with me, and extend my arms to everyone who has yet to join me here.

With love & light,
Mariah Maddox

---

I have some up-and-coming things that I’m excited to be sharing: a series on navigating friendship loss and the importance of sisterhood/community, a post detailing my time spent at a transformative writer’s retreat in Greece, and other topics I’ve been wanting to explore for a while. More to come soon.