This was a point of contention within myself and with others until well into my twenties. Constantly feeling too much, expressing too openly, and expecting others to share their vulnerabilities with me especially when not doing so hindered our connection. I'm so glad I no longer wrestle with hating the fact that I have been emotions and I no longer stifle myself when it comes to expressing them.
I love this! I’m slowly making my way to the point of not hating my big emotions or looking at the like a curse. Even getting past telling myself or others that I “wish I just didn’t care about things so deeply.” There’s a reason I do.
Whenever I am feeling frustrated at myself for feeling negative emotions, I’ve made a point of reminding myself:
“I feel these emotions with grace, even if it doesn’t seem like it”
As someone that’s been deemed “too emotional” or “too sensitive” this has been really affirming. Big emotions are confronting! I really enjoy how you’ve described it as the bark of humanity— wishing or shaming our negative emotions away isn’t going to make them disappear faster. Handling my emotions with grace a lot of the times means allowing them to lift their ugly head and meet it with self compassion. 🤍
I love that reminder! Big emotions are definitely confronting, but as you said: allowing them to lift their ugly head and meet them with self compassion. So necessary.
Yes to feeling the feels. Emotions are what make us human. They’re villainized because feeling people are harder to exploit. I tell myself all the time, “only robots don’t have feelings. Resist becoming a robot.” Like Audre said, “I feel, therefore I can be free.”
Yes! There is so much freedom in being able to truly feel our feelings as they are rather than masquerading around as if nothing gets to us. To feel is to be made human.
It's a good thing to know that, though you can acknowledge your feelings and be emotionally aware, you don't have to be ruled by them. Working them out logically is also a form of emotional intelligence. This is a really trying piece. Thanks for sharing it!
Alliance with emotions is the key to an unwavering connection with self. And that alliance begins with spending time with emotions. A few years back, I didn't know how to spend time with my emotions because it was hard to perceive them "tangibly". Life then taught me the know-how. And today, I can easily say my alliance with emotions is the one that has saved me uncountable times from losing myself in the rough storms of life.
I feel like my emotions are carried in every fiber of my being. It's like they're literally woven into the very fabric of who I am. Sometimes it feels like my heart is overflowing with them, it's this bottomless well of joy, sadness, love, and everything in between. And when those emotions really take hold, they carry me to places I never expected to go. They have a life of their own, guiding me through highs and lows, shaping my experiences and influencing the paths I take. It's both exhilarating and overwhelming, this constant dance between where my emotions carry me and where I choose to let them lead.
So well written! Funny thing is I’m also reading Dr. Anita’s book and it’s been quite a firming for me. I’m an empath and for so long I was quite afraid of feeling these strong emotions that I wouldn’t be considered strong. But over the last few years and with the help of therapy I have allowed myself to feel and sit with all the emotions that pass through me and it’s been liberating. Scary sometimes but quite liberating.
I have also learnt to meet myself with grace and compassion as I do with other people.
So affirming! I feel the same way as an empath, but liberating is definitely the perfect word to describe the feeling of learning to be one with your emotions rather than run by your emotions!
WHEW! THIS PIECE RIGHT HERE! There’s so much power in FEELING completely and not allowing it to sink your ship. There’s power in feeling deeply and still being able to choose. Thank you for this and the book reference I also added it to my TBR list.
This was a point of contention within myself and with others until well into my twenties. Constantly feeling too much, expressing too openly, and expecting others to share their vulnerabilities with me especially when not doing so hindered our connection. I'm so glad I no longer wrestle with hating the fact that I have been emotions and I no longer stifle myself when it comes to expressing them.
I love this! I’m slowly making my way to the point of not hating my big emotions or looking at the like a curse. Even getting past telling myself or others that I “wish I just didn’t care about things so deeply.” There’s a reason I do.
Whenever I am feeling frustrated at myself for feeling negative emotions, I’ve made a point of reminding myself:
“I feel these emotions with grace, even if it doesn’t seem like it”
As someone that’s been deemed “too emotional” or “too sensitive” this has been really affirming. Big emotions are confronting! I really enjoy how you’ve described it as the bark of humanity— wishing or shaming our negative emotions away isn’t going to make them disappear faster. Handling my emotions with grace a lot of the times means allowing them to lift their ugly head and meet it with self compassion. 🤍
I love that reminder! Big emotions are definitely confronting, but as you said: allowing them to lift their ugly head and meet them with self compassion. So necessary.
Yes to feeling the feels. Emotions are what make us human. They’re villainized because feeling people are harder to exploit. I tell myself all the time, “only robots don’t have feelings. Resist becoming a robot.” Like Audre said, “I feel, therefore I can be free.”
Yes! There is so much freedom in being able to truly feel our feelings as they are rather than masquerading around as if nothing gets to us. To feel is to be made human.
Great reflection Mariah. Validating yet convicting.
Thank you Kiana, I'm so glad it landed well <3
It's a good thing to know that, though you can acknowledge your feelings and be emotionally aware, you don't have to be ruled by them. Working them out logically is also a form of emotional intelligence. This is a really trying piece. Thanks for sharing it!
So very true!
Alliance with emotions is the key to an unwavering connection with self. And that alliance begins with spending time with emotions. A few years back, I didn't know how to spend time with my emotions because it was hard to perceive them "tangibly". Life then taught me the know-how. And today, I can easily say my alliance with emotions is the one that has saved me uncountable times from losing myself in the rough storms of life.
I want to send this to every aunty and uncle with love- thank you, Mariah. We need this kind of work- it’s good for us. All of us.
My hope is only that more people would recognize just HOW good it is for us, and be willing to meet the work with open arms. Thank you!
I feel like my emotions are carried in every fiber of my being. It's like they're literally woven into the very fabric of who I am. Sometimes it feels like my heart is overflowing with them, it's this bottomless well of joy, sadness, love, and everything in between. And when those emotions really take hold, they carry me to places I never expected to go. They have a life of their own, guiding me through highs and lows, shaping my experiences and influencing the paths I take. It's both exhilarating and overwhelming, this constant dance between where my emotions carry me and where I choose to let them lead.
WHEW. WOW, reading that sent chills. Yes yes yes, I couldn’t agree more. Thank you so much for sharing 🤎
So well written! Funny thing is I’m also reading Dr. Anita’s book and it’s been quite a firming for me. I’m an empath and for so long I was quite afraid of feeling these strong emotions that I wouldn’t be considered strong. But over the last few years and with the help of therapy I have allowed myself to feel and sit with all the emotions that pass through me and it’s been liberating. Scary sometimes but quite liberating.
I have also learnt to meet myself with grace and compassion as I do with other people.
So affirming! I feel the same way as an empath, but liberating is definitely the perfect word to describe the feeling of learning to be one with your emotions rather than run by your emotions!
WHEW! THIS PIECE RIGHT HERE! There’s so much power in FEELING completely and not allowing it to sink your ship. There’s power in feeling deeply and still being able to choose. Thank you for this and the book reference I also added it to my TBR list.
"Power in feeling deeply and still being able to choose." YES! So glad this resonated.